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Captivate

August 17, 2011

There is something almost inappropriate about how I feel about the feel of new pavement beneath my wheels. How I feel about seeing it as well. The black road and that crisp white line. It excites me in a way I likely shouldn’t be proud of. The feel of it is enticing. Smooth, like the road pulls me along.

Just ride Eggers. Just ride.

I don’t ride in the evening much and I rarely do my tempo work outside. Mostly because of time, 4am is just not light enough to do that, and it’s a bit safer as well to be hitting those zones while I don’t worry about cars. Since Curt is heading to Nat’s this weekend he gave me the open invite to head out and get some road time in.

You only have to tell me once.

My quads were aching, but the kind of ache that makes you smile. The kind that the more it hurts the more you push. It’s that feeling of being wide open, raw and alive. In this moment right here and right now. Nowhere else but here.

There it is again…… you know….. it. It as in that feeling. He and I have been dancing a lot lately. This comeback road has been a few years long but we are making slow and steady progress and he and I are dancing again. That quiet feeling within me is ever so slowly beginning to consider making a run for the surface.

It’s taken a lot of trust. It’s taken a lot of work. It’s taken more patience than I ever thought I possessed. Bit by bit, step by step it is coming. While it likely won’t fully be here until 2012, it’s making a damn sure return.

Patience. Patience. Patience.

That’s what the Wizard has told me through these past 2 years. I have trusted it, I have lived it, I have breathed it. I trust it so much that I am selling a company I built for 7 years and diving into the middle of it.

That’s got to be some sort of testament.

It begins with rebuilding your foundation, your health at a very microscopic level. from there you build slow and steady. You endure periods of doubt, frustration, moments when it does not come together, then those peeking moments of when it does.

Then you encounter that feeling again. It has been a few years….. yes years since we have danced. That feeling captivates me, owns me at times and is what drives my passion.

Good lord I love to feel that way. And I loved feeling that way on this ride. I loved the feel of the freshly paved road and the sight of the crisp white line and the 6 foot shoulder that allowed me to be a girl who loves her bike more than she can bear, a heart that is full, a passion that is getting stoked more and more by the minute.

I often finish rides like this with tears in my eyes. Ones that if were seen I might be a bit shy about. Tears that mean wow I have been through a lot, tears that mean wow…. I have come a long way….. tears that mean while I still have a long way to go…… the freshly paved road ahead of me…… it calls me. Captivates me, pulls me along…….

and dares me to be a little bit more patient.

 

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3 comments

  1. i know these tears. i know that feeling of my heart bursting.
    thank you for sharing.


  2. yes, i had tears too last saturday during my run – full of gratitude.
    keep going!


    • Its a blessing to know others “get it”!



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