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Tis the season

December 2, 2012

It’s not that I don’t like winter. I actually do. It’s my driveway that gives me bitterness. It’s downhill and into the backyard, and we have to have SUV’s to get out of it. No plow guy would take the job…… for the record I probably wouldn’t have one anyway. I have this issue with paying people to do things that I can do myself. I clean my own house and I mow my own lawn. Not that it would have helped the driveway situation.

Other than the driveway I love winter.

Saturday was the first snowfall of the season even though it melted away by mid day. There is something about running at early o’clock in the snow. It’s a world untouched. The darkness is illuminated by the snow that blankets the trees. The air is crisp. There is a certain peace that fills the air that accompanies this time of the season.

It’s like the world stands still.

I got to the halfway point. You know… that one spot…. the light post at the top of the hill. Where I can see the entire city skyline. That kind of view that makes you feel small in this big world of ours. I stop there, as I do every time, regardless of what I am doing or executing. I always stop there for a few seconds. Sometimes ten, twenty or maybe a minute or two. It’s right next to a farm and two beautiful white dogs always come running. I have seen these dogs for the better part of ten years and I swear they always want to come out and run too.

I pause there…… just because.

I live a busy life that is often times on the go. At least that is what most people see. What most people don’t realize is that it’s controlled chaos. Every day I make time and I take time. When Luc comes home from school is one of those times. At the and of the day….. one of those times. Every single run I do outside….. one of those times. To stop and pause and soak it all up. I don’t want to get to the end of the day much less the end of my life wishing I would have stopped and looked around.

I do it every single day. A bunch of times a day in fact.

As I was running I felt at peace with the journey that I have been on. Where I have battled and then stumbled to get my feet underneath me. I have fallen into this feeling of trust. Trusting the process of the athletic journey I am back on because I know the process works. That gives me huge comfort and removes the feelings of…. will I be able to do this…. will it come back….. am I doing this right? knowing the answer ahead of time settles me. I find myself removed from worry. Feeling good. Feeling like my feet are underneath me. Feeling like the future is mine to have.

I had lunch with some friends last week who are handing me an opportunity to dream and create again. The fatigue of the past few years has lifted and that creative dreaming side of me has awakened. I honestly didn’t have the energy for it for a long time. Now it’s like this ball of …. if you can dream it we can do it….. has landed in my lap. Which is exciting and exhilarating and amazing.

As I was running I loved hearing the crunching of the snow beneath my feet. I loved that it was cold enough for a hat but not for the whole cover my face and suffer ordeal. I loved that I could see my breath and I could feel the cool air in my lungs and I could feel so warm but cool at the same time.

One house I ran by had a Christmas countdown clock in the lawn. It was rolling down by the minute, the hour and the day. I love this time of the year. We are all a lot kinder to one another. We all put our arms around each other and hug just a little tighter, savor moments just a little longer.. hold the doors when we normally wouldn’t. We drink coffee laced with peppermint and we think of bringing a friend one…. just because. We find reasons to get together…. just because.

We go out running before anyone else wakes up because this time of the year it’s something we don’t always remember to stop and see.

Pure beauty.

As I turned onto my street I crossed paths with the older gentlemen who runs 6 miles a day. We crossed paths when I was out while running…. pregnant. So it’s been 12 years we have been sharing these roads. We exchanged a high-five and a good morning. That is the extent of our relationship out here. Sometimes we run into one another in Wegmans.  He’s retired and runs about 6 miles a day. He wears sweatpants and a sweater hat. He runs with a stick because once he was attacked by a dog.

I cherish that man and I love every time I see him.

Standing at the top of my treacherous driveway I smiled. TIs the season when I will be standing right here and that damn plow will round the corner and dump four feet of snow on the end of the driveway that I just spent an hour digging out. Whether I am standing there or not they do it. Tis the season for the kamikaze sidewalk plow guy to come rolling down with his sidewalk tractor plow.

Tis the season for early morning runs in the snow in a world that’s not plowed, not populated, not busy.

Tis the season for cherishing these moments.

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